Philippians 4:13

If there was ever anyone with a self-defeatist attitude in the world, it was me, yesterday on our 40-mile training ride. Cycling is a sport unlike many others, where there isn't much of an opportunity for conversation, and you spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. Sometimes far too alone with your thoughts. Yesterday, pretty much from the get-go of our four-hour training ride starting in Sherborn, through Walpole, and down to Foxborough and around back to Sherborn, I had already defeated myself. I felt like I should be riding faster, feeling less pain, sweating less (not completely dissimilar to that feeling back in 9th grade of having been utterly defeated on a Geometry exam). I was cursing the sweat dripping down my face and soaking through my CamelBak (although it was upwards of 94 degrees outside). I felt discouraged already in mile two or three, with so many more ahead of me. And to make things worse, I was fully aware of my mistake from the beginning: I wasn't trusting the Lord to give me strength--I was trying to rely on my own mind and body for the energy I needed to make it through the day. What I should have been doing is giving the ride up to the Lord and asking Him to carry me through.

Every time I started to ask the Lord to encourage me, I would glance up ahead at Paul or the other couple we were riding with, and I wouldn't see them--they had gone out of view. And then I would defeat myself again, and ask why it even mattered that I try to keep up. I knew this was the wrong attitude, yet I couldn't help it.

Thinking ahead to this coming Saturday, when we will ride 84 miles in the name of curing cancer, I must arm myself with the perfect truth of Philippians 4:13. I know that He will give me strength, and I also know that this ride will not be easy. It is not supposed to be easy, but He will carry me through and send a breeze at my back. When I suffer through this grueling physical endeavor on Saturday, I will remember my dad who suffered through 18 months of cancer, and I will remember my Lord who suffered for me on the cross.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
--Philippians 4:13